


All American Boy

by BleuBengal



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Closeted Character, First Time, M/M, Outdoor Sex, Romance, Seriously ANGST!, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 13:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1747118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleuBengal/pseuds/BleuBengal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s been your best friend ever since you could remember. You wish you could tell him how you feel. That it’s always been him. That he’s the only thing that matters. It’s always on the tip of your tongue like the sweetest of tortures. But you won’t. You can’t. </p><p>Jared P.O.V.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All American Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is based on Steve Grand’s music video for his song All-American Boy. Go watch it. It will make you cry. I do not own the song or the lyrics presented here nor am I making money off this. This is purely for recreational purposes and sharing a beautiful story.
> 
> A/N: I tried to re-create the story in print to get my muses flowing because I’m stuck in the middle of the next chapters for Counting Stars, No Strings Attached, and the Switch. I think I tried to write them all at once and it backfired. Oh well. Angsty one-shot to make up for my horrible updating? 
> 
> Also....the repetition of phrases and choppy sentences has been done purposefully. You were warned.

__**Ripped Jeans, only drinks whiskey. I find him by the fire while his girl was getting frisky, ohh __ ****  
 _ **I say we go this road tonight.... __ ****  
 _ **He smiles, his arms around her, but his eyes are holdin me, just a captive to his wonder, ohh __ ****  
 __ **I say we go this road tonight....****_ ******_**

The bonfire is going and laughter and drinks are in no short supply. It’s a hot summer Texan night. The same nine people are here. People you’ve known since before you could talk. That’s how it is in small towns like this. Sometimes you wish you could be anywhere but here. Sometimes it’s suffocating having everyone in your business. Knowing every insignificant detail about your life. About everyone’s life. There’s a beauty in it. When someone finds themselves in financial trouble and unable to feed their kids, they don’t need to worry. They’ll always find good ol’ home cooked meals left on the steps, spare clothes neatly folded next to it. No one asks where it comes from. They don’t need to because they’re all in it together and they’d do the same in a heartbeat. 

But there’s something they don’t know about you. Something nobody knows. Something you keep to yourself because any time you even imagine yourself letting it out, you see everything you hold dear slip out from under you.

Chad is being an idiot. He can’t help it. He was born that way or something. Chris plays his guitar along with the radio. He could have had a record deal by now, but he doesn’t want it. He loves music and he doesn’t want to tarnish it with money and fame. He’s perfectly content with his life just the way it is. You admire him for that. Jake and Ally are arguing about something in the corner. They’ll be broken up and back together before dawn. You look around at all your friends and wonder if they know how lonely you are. If they see behind the goofy grin you plaster on. You wonder if _he_ does.

_**Now I know that that's your girl, I mean no disrespect. The way that shirt hugs your chest boy, I just won't forget...** _ ****  
_**I'll be sittin here, drinking my whiskey. I won't say goodnight unless I think ya might miss me, ohh....** _ ****

You watch him pull her close, his large hands on her waist. She’s looking at him like he’s everything. You know that look. Because it’s mirrored on your face every single day. She wraps her arms around his neck and buries her head against his shoulder as they sway to the music. You both love and hate watching them. You love it because you can imagine what it would be like. You and him. You can imagine that you’re the one he’s holding like he doesn’t want to let go. That his hands are gripping the edge of your levis, wandering down to places that set you on fire. That, that big smile is flashing just for you. 

You hate it because you know deep down that it never will be you. 

Suddenly, his green eyes catch yours and your heart skips a beat. You’re afraid you’ve been caught staring. You try to look busy, taking a drink of whiskey. It burns something awful going down your throat and you wince, coughing. In your mind you can almost hear his voice telling you to ‘take it like a man’. Drinking has never been your thing, but tonight it's almost mandatory. 

He smirks and winks at you. You smile back, confused by the wink until you feel someone sit next to you. Genevieve. She’s sitting a little too close, her small hips resting against yours; red solo cup in hand. She makes a joke and you laugh. Gen’s a spunky little piece of work crammed into a tiny body with long black hair and almond shaped eyes. Exactly the kind of girl anyone would be proud to take home to their mama. She likes you. She has for a while now. You can see in her eyes that she’s already envisioning little Padalecki’s. You don’t have it in you to tell her that she shouldn't get her hopes up. That there’s no chance for the two of you because you already gave your heart away a long time ago. 

Her voice fades into the background and your eyes glance back just in time to see him picking her up in his arms, kissing her. Your heart breaks a little bit more no matter how many times you told yourself earlier that you wouldn’t let it. 

Her curly locks fall over their faces and you can see her palm resting against his cheek where you know there’s almost certainly the beginnings of stubble. You know him so well that you can tell he skipped the shave that morning. His shirt is tight around his torso and biceps, clinging in just the right places. You could probably recreate the entire intricate celtic tattoo that covers his left arm by memory alone. Along with every freckle, every scar.

Gen’s taking your hand and pulling you up. She wants to dance. You let her even though you’re a terrible dancer. You’re all giant limbs and zero coordination. You decide to just let loose and have a good time for once. You both laugh as you bust out an outdated rendition of the sprinkler and the cabbage patch.

 _She_ walks up to you two, whispering something in Gen’s ear. You want to hate her. You do, but you can’t. It’s not her fault and she’s been nothing but a good friend to you.

“Sorry Jay. I’m stealing your date away for a minute.”, she says pulling Gen off somewhere along with Sophia. Your date. Right. 

_**Be my All-American boy tonight. Where everyday's the 4th of July. It’s alright, alright** _ ****  
_**And we can keep this up till the morning light. And you can hold me deep in your eyes.** _ ****  
_**It’s alright, alright** _ ****  
_**So be my, be my. My All-American boy....** _ ****

Your hands find their way into your jean pockets and you let out a sigh, not really knowing what to do next. An all too familiar slap on the back comes your way and you know it’s him. He’s joking around, asking you questions about Gen and if you’re _finally_ going to seal the deal. Your eyebrow raises and you joke back saying that maybe you already have. A shit eating grin spreads across his face and its contagious. Oh God, here he goes. You just gave him ammunition. He goes on and on about how his little boy is growing up and asks if you remembered to use a condom.

You playfully punch him in the arm because you know what will happen next. You’re counting on it. Before you know it, you’re horsing around and wrestling. He’s got you in a half nelson even though you’ve got a good foot's worth of height on him. You couldn’t care less. You just want to be close to him any way you can get. Chad’s calling you a pussy from his seat on the log bench. Chad stands up and downs what's left in his cup. He says he can do a better job and challenges him. Just like that, he lets go of you. You can finally breathe.

The girls come back and they all begin arguing about the drinks they bought. Mike’s hard lemonade and strawberry-ritas. It starts when Chad asks how the fuck they’re supposed to get drunk off that girly shit which in turn sets off an epic war about his inherent chauvinistic ways and the sexism of alcoholic beverages. Whatever that means. 

_**Ripped jeans, tight shirt. He lights a cigarette you know I'm glad that she can't stand it, ohh** _ ****  
_**I drink the moonlight from his eyes. Now hold there, just a moment. I want to take this in now we don't need no photo of it, no.... _ **  
 _ **We should go this road tonight....**_ ******_**_

He asks you to sneak out by the lake with him to smoke because she’s constantly up his ass about quitting. You’re secretly glad she hates it because you don’t mind at all. It gives you more alone time with him. 

Things are so easy between the two of you. You’re so much alike. He’s been your best friend ever since you could remember. You wish you could tell him how you feel. That it’s always been him. That he’s the only thing that matters. It’s always on the tip of your tongue like the sweetest of tortures. But you won’t. You can’t.

He tells you about his mother. She’s doing much better. They’re letting her out of the hospital soon, but the recovery will still take months. You know how much his mama means to him. To you too.

You remember the night he showed up at your dorm at ass o' clock in the morning. His father had called when they first took her in and it would take a few days for them to wire him the money for a bus ticket home. He spent the night with his head in your lap after you finally convinced him to sleep. He had to take in-completes in all of his classes to go back home and help his dad take care of her and his younger sister. His older brother does what he can, but he has a family of his own to take care of. You’re dreading the possibility of having to go back in the Fall alone. You want to be anywhere he is. That’s why you chose state instead of Stanford. 

When he kicks off his boots and begins stripping out of his shirt and pants, your eyes widen. The sight of his bared flesh sends tingles straight to your nether regions. Your mouth goes dry. It should be illegal to be so close to perfection. He jumps wildly into the lake with a splash and shouts for you to join him. 

You shout back that you’re too old to go skinny dipping ;looking nervously around you. It's a shit excuse. You know it as soon as it leaves your mouth. You're just hoping that someone else will come along and save you. You don’t necessarily want to be alone with him. Naked and in the dark. He wonders aloud, with that damned adorable smirk of his, if you don't want to strip because you’re embarrassed by your pencil dick. That does it. You walk to the edge and undress. You stand there proudly in all your naked and _not_ pencil dicked glory.

He stares, mouth dropping open before his lips purse in amusement. He's probably shocked that you actually did it. You are too, to be honest. Maybe it's the whiskey catching up to you. You haven’t really seen each other completely nude in years and you've always been the shy one. "I stand corrected. Gen's a lucky gal." You don't bother to correct him. To tell him that you're his if he wants you. You always have been. 

You take a deep breath and jump in after him. It’s freezing despite the near 90 degree temperature outside and you can't help but to shiver a bit. You splash him in the face with water like you used to do when you were kids. He retaliates by pulling your leg and dragging you under the water even though he knows you hate it. You cough and push back the wet hair dripping into your eyes. 

“Jerk!”, you sputter while spitting out water.  
“Bitch!”

Things calm for a moment and you both wind up staring into each other's eyes, heads afloat in the water. Everything you ever felt for him begins to bubble to the surface and you can’t take it anymore. You've been waiting for this moment ever since you realized that you were hopelessly in love with him shortly after your thirteenth birthday. Do you really want to go down this road? There’s so much to lose. But you know that if you don’t try, if you don’t take a chance, you will regret it for the rest of your life. You grab him by the neck and press your lips against his. They're soft. So soft. It's everything you imagined it would be and you're falling.

_**Of all the girls and boys to look my way, ain't no body ever hit me this way. So won't you come back with me. And lay with me a while....** _ ****

He lets out a sound of surprise and you pull back, closing your eyes tightly. The fear is rejection is too strong. A rough hand comes up to cup your chin and you lean into the touch like your life depends on it. Maybe it does. Your eyes open slowly and he’s looking at you. _Really_ looking at you for the first time and you feel laid bare. ‘I love you.’, your mind screams, but you swallow the words down.

You vaguely register that his face is slowly moving towards yours until the slight heat of his whiskey tinted breath hits you. “Me too.”, he whispers before crashing his lips down onto yours and you barely have time to wonder if you did say it aloud or if he just somehow knows.

Is this really happening? That he's on top of you? Kissing you. Wanting you. _Needing_ you. His lips are on your neck and his hands are everywhere at once. Tangled in your hair, roaming over your chest, gripping your thighs hard enough to leave bruises. His mouth ghosts over one of your nipples before capturing it. It's good. So good. There’s no lube within probably ten miles of where you are so you know this will be rough. He probably doesn't even realize he needs it. You know he's never done anything like this. Then again, neither have you. But it's him. And it's you. And it’s perfect. 

_**I'm gonna wrestle you out of them clothes, leave that beautiful body exposed  
And you can have my heart and my soul and my body. Just be mine.... ** _ ****

He lines up and covers himself with saliva. You feel the blunt head of his cock pressing into you and your breath whooshes out from your lungs. It’s too big and it burns too much. You tense and sit up. “Easy there Jay-bird. It'll get better.”, he says huskily, pinning you back down on the ground. You force yourself to relax. “Good boy.”, he says and it sends shivers down your spine. 

He begins thrusting in and out of you slowly before adopting a steady, even pace. It still hurts. You think it probably will for a while, but there’s something else building along with the pain. You push back seeking more of it. And then he slides just a bit deeper in, just so and oh. There it is. You moan loudly, filled so full of him you think you might burst. You tell him it's okay. That he can move faster. You won't break. Inside, you think you might if he walks away. If he says it was all a mistake.

He pulls one of your legs over his shoulder and begins pounding into you at a quicker pace. Apparently you feel like heaven, judging by the mostly nonsensical words he keeps muttering out. Before long you are being coated with his warm release. He groans lowly and falls down onto his forearms. A kiss is pressed to your forehead and you notice that his lips linger just a few seconds too long. He's been waiting for this too. 

This time, you don't have to pretend as you pull him close. You _are_ the one pressing your face into his shoulder breathing in his woodsy scent. You’re the one with your hands running down his sweat covered back. And he’s grinning and laughing just for you. Asking if you're alright.

Yeah. More than, you say. You're alright. He’s alright. _We’re_ alright you say to yourself. You're not alone anymore.

_****_

_**Baby you light my fire. I’ll make you feel alright, alright. And we can keep this up till the morning light. And you can hold me deep in your eyes.... __ ******_

_****_ ****

Then he’s moving away from you and in a split second, you come fading back. He’s pushing you off of him and he's looking at you. _Really_ looking at you. In shock and in confusion.You realize that you’re both still suspended in the water. You don’t know what to say. Your mouth opens and closes, but the words just won’t come. I'm sorry.

“Dude...”, he says shaking his head and wades back to the pier. You’re still frozen there unable to move. It was a mistake. By the time you make it back to the party, shirt still open, hair wet; he's already sitting there. With her in his lap. You can’t help but think that nothing will ever be the same again. You’ve lost your best friend.

By some miracle you manage to hold your chin up and tell everyone goodbye despite their drunken protests about missing the fireworks show. You just want to make it to your truck and go home with whatever is left of your dignity still in tact. He still hasn’t looked in your direction. He hates me, you think. He'll never talk to me again.

You should know better. That's not him. That’s not who he is and it never will be. So when he runs up behind you, calling your name and grabs you into a tight hug telling you not to worry about it, that you’re still his best friend, you almost cry right then and there. Out the corner of your eye, you see her walking up, latching onto his arm and saying goodbye. She hands you one of the pies she baked for all of the guys and kisses your cheek. You quietly thank her and you know you couldn’t have lost him to anyone more worthy.

It hurts. You think it will for a while. Maybe forever. When they get married, it'll feel like a piece of you is dying when you stand beside him at the altar as his best man. When they have their first baby, you'll probably spend the night in tears before readying yourself to be 'Uncle Jared'. But you'll do it. You'll be strong and smile through it because all you ever wanted was for him to be happy. And hopefully someday, you'll find someone who can love you back and everything will be alright. Alright...

_**So be my** _ ****  
_**Be my, be my. My All-American boy....** _ ****

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: * COMMENTS * [This is me begging. I'm really curious to know why this story is my least popular one. Is the ending too sad? Did you not like the second person pov? Let me know. I love it actually. I tried something new with this, but it might not have translated well for you guys. ], kudos, bookmarks, etc. are always loved and appreciated ♥♡♥♡


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